The first person that not only loved me, but also taught me how to love, would be my mother. I believe that from the moment she heard my heart beat, she was captivated. The second she heard my first cries, she became my protector. When she found out I had kidney disease, she also became my fighter and my care taker. She showed me love my whole life; however, it wasn’t until my father’s death that she taught me how to love.
My parents were high school sweet hearts back in the 1980′s. They were both raised in Sanford, Florida. Sanford is the type of town that if you blink, you’ll miss it. That says a lot. They fell in love at seventeen, got engaged on their high school graduation night, married one year later and had me a year after that. They were twenty-one-year olds with a mortgage, a baby and full time jobs.
My father was a responsible man. He had two well paying jobs. He had savings and he took care of me and my mom. My father, however, was also a cheater. After being separated for a year, my parents filed for divorce. Two months later, my father’s fiance was pregnant. Nine months later we got a knock on the door. The breaking news we had been watching about a man who was hit by a MAC truck and decapitated on I-95, was my dad.
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I was only five when my world became unhinged. I had no idea what death was, all I knew was that I missed my daddy. I started having frequent nightmares where I would see my dad, but I couldn’t quite reach him. When I would wake my mom up crying, she never got frustrated or told me to go back to bed. Instead, she would wrap her arms around me and sing to me until I would fall asleep. While holding her life together, and keeping mine a float as well, my mother made a decision that I can honestly say, I do not think many people would have made.
There is a traffic law which states that semi-trucks are not to drive in the left hand lane of a three lane highway. If this happens, and two semi-trucks are driving in the other two lanes, it creates tight air suction in the middle lane. This was the exact situation that killed my father. As a result, my mother got a check in my name for $1 million, and by default became the head of my estate.
I think most people would have taken all of that money for themselves and counted it as compensation for all of the grief, pain and heartache they were experiencing. Something that I have learned, is that my mom does not usually do what most people would do. Instead, she acted out of love, pure concern for the well being of others, and split that money three ways. My grandparents got $300,00. I got $300,00, and my dad’s fiance, the woman he cheated on my mother with, also got $300,00.
Word gets around in such a small town. Friends and family did not hesitate to criticize my mother for what she did. They could not understand how my mom could give that much money to someone who broke up her marriage. None of their comments seemed to faze her though.She would tell me, “Kim messed up, but your dad died right after she had his baby. I am hurt, but so is she. She deserves something too.”
If my mother has taught me anything, it is that love is not just a feeling. It is not just something you express to people when everything is going right. Love is unselfish and unconditional, and true love knows no boundaries.
